My life as I become myself

There was a period of time in high school where I exchanged secret notes, written on the corner of the desk we both used at different times of the day, with a total stranger. They were like my own personal pen pal… I still sometimes leave little notes on my desk hoping someone will respond.

Successful bike ride in the dark completed! Yay for not letting this horrible heat make me lazy, and for appeasing the demanding dog princess (who is now passed out on the floor)

On an unrelated note my future husband got a new haircut, and I just can’t keep my hands to myself. Although it’s too fucking hot for any type of sexy mid day activities…

On an unrelated note my future husband got a new haircut, and I just can’t keep my hands to myself. Although it’s too fucking hot for any type of sexy mid day activities…

It’s too hot to be alive, but never too hot for “I’m boiling alive” selfies.

Now that Suka is a bit cooled down and smelling of wet dog, she won’t stop beggin to go for a walk… Never enough for this little brat, it’s like 100 degrees out I am definitely not going for a walk until after dark

So as you probably could have guessed it’s boiling over here.

We haven’t been able to run our air conditioner the last few months because it is super old and way to expensive for us to afford with our very limited income (we got an electric bill that was literally like 4x as expensive as usual a few months ago, and since then have been attempting to use as little power as possible, because we definitely can’t survive something like that again). Anyway it has been like mid to high 90’s the past two weeks and I’m going insane. It is so fucking hot, I can’t concentrate on anything and have absolutely no motivation to work out/go for walks/move at all. I have been surviving by sitting in a cold bath for hours on end, like my own personal indoor pool.

Anyway the whole reason for this post of rambling complaints was to explain why I both love and hate my little bratty husky, lol. As you can imagine it’s hot for her as well (although we have been very careful to make sure she doesn’t get overheated or anything). I just went out on my patio and called her out there so I could spray her with the mist setting on the hose. She absolutely loves water, especially when it comes from the hose, but we never really let her get wet at home because she will track it through the whole house. Anyway I figured I would make an exception, but her being the strong headed husky that she is she thought I was trying to trick her. “Why would they willingly let me get wet at home? It’s definitely a trick!” Such a freaking brat, I ended up tricking her to get her out on the patio, and of course she loved the hose as usual.

Sorry if this whole post makes no sense, I am just so hot I can’t even think.


Yesterday was an awesome mail day! I got these beautiful earrings that winninginlosing MADE for me out of LEAVES she found!!! Like holy crap, what an amazing gift. And I got a postcard from the lovely miladapted which was so nice to come home to too. :)

OMG!! They look gorgeous on you :D I’m so glad you like them, made my day for sure

Currently trying not to melt

Today has been hard.
It’s one of those low days where I had to force myself, almost against my will, to leave the house and go to class. One of those days where I have to pinch myself to keep from crying during my lecture or falling asleep because I can’t handle facing today. One of those days where I feel like I’m sitting at the bottom of a well watching the functioning world moving around my through a veil of water, it’s hard to focus it’s hard to hear. I just have to remember that this day will not be infinitely long, it will end and hopefully tomorrow will be better. For now I just need to focus on not breaking down in my classes, and at least appearing to be a normal functioning human being…